How To Use Network & Relationship Building To Get Whatever You Want In Life

I’ve always had a passion for music and when I was in my mid 20’s, I wanted to be a DJ and play in front of thousands of people at some of the best clubs.

That was my dream, but the reality was that it was a VERY crowded market and at that time EVERYONE wanted to be a DJ too.

Crowded market, does that sound familiar?

Unless you had some really good connections, this meant you were either playing in your basement to your 4 friends, or if you were lucky, you got a gig but played in the back lounge of some club where no one was.

Gigs on the main floor were so far and few in between, and living in Salt Lake, bigger DJ’s would be sucking up all the gigs because it was easy cash as they travelled from East Coast to West Coast or vice versa.

I didn’t want to play in my basement in front of 4 friends or the back lounge of clubs, I wanted to be on the main stage, and I had to figure it out!

Trying to find the club owner and pitch him on why a no-name DJ should get that opportunity was hopeless, so here’s what I did:

These clubs back in the day were absolutely PACKED out and the lines were often wrapped around the block.

I noticed that there was always a short ‘VIP’ line where a select few were getting in and not having to wait 30 minutes.

So, I got to know the ‘door guy’ and would call him by name, chat with him for a bit and ask him about how things are going in his world and give him a fat tip.

Eventually the door guy started letting me in the VIP door, and word must have gotten to his ‘door guy’ friends about me because they started letting me in too.

I tipped so well that they didn’t even charge me or my friends to get in, so instead of waiting 30 minutes and having 5 friends paying, we got in for LESS than if I would go through the front door!

Since we saved money by not having to pay to get in, we gave extra big tips to the bartenders and then the same thing happened, the bartenders were giving us free drinks and loved it when we came in!

Now that I knew both he bartenders and the door guys, they spoke well of me to the manager and club owner and eventually I got my shot to talk with them, then play at the club.

But instead of asking them to pay me to be a DJ ($200-500 going rates at the time), I told them that I would promote a party there and would bring in higher liquor sales if they would allow me to keep the entire door.

This solved a problem for them because they no longer had to find & promote the DJ and could just open the doors and make money off liquor sales.

Now that I had access to a badass big club, I could set my own prices for the door, and I started to throw “Theme parties” at the club where people could get dressed up in costume or around a certain theme.

This also solved the problem of me not being a ‘bigger name’ DJ but still gave me the ability to draw large crowds and raise entry fees.

One of my favorites was ‘Halfway to Halloween’ which everyone loved because they could get dressed up in fun (ok…. sexy & revealing) costumes in May instead of October when it was FREEZING!

Not only that but people LOVED going to a club and seeing other people’s costumes and gave them reasons to talk and engage with each other, which made it even more fun for them.

Instead of making $2-500 per night, it ended up being in the THOUSANDS.

On top of that, we were building a brand, and even our theme parties became well known enough to give me the ability to choose which clubs I wanted to work with.

A few lessons from this story –

1- Always take care of the people on the ground floor (the metaphorical DJ’s and bartenders) instead of just focusing on the big ‘decision makers’. There’s a book from Keynote Speaker John Ruhlin called ‘Giftology’ that talks about great ways to show appreciation for clients or potential clients by being more thoughtful and authentic while also positioning yourself for success.

 2-  There is always a way in, you just need to find it. I call this expansive thinking. While this story I called it the ‘VIP Door’, author Alex Banyan calls it the 3^rd door and wrote a book about how many wildly successful people launched their careers in unconventional ways.

3- There are some incredible skills that are NOT taught in school that I feel are very relevant for having both financial and personal success in a world where information and technology moves so quickly. I listed one of them here (networking and relationship building) but here are 4 more skills that are not taught in school that will help you THRIVE.

4- The ‘main door’ is never the right door (unless you like waiting or not getting in). Think about applying for a job vs. becoming a master of networking and ‘skipping the line’. Or buying a stock at the worst possible time (when prices are sky high because everyone is piling in).

Now, go after it and find that VIP door for yourself!